fionnuisce | kaisou inbox

I agree. I would prefer to respect his privacy. I imagine I'll have more questions for you as I discover them.

[Another delay, longer, spending almost the entire time looking at the seals on his hand.]

...

[He switched the feed to video, showing the Command Seals on the back of his hand.]

... Should it come down to it, I'd like to know how to activate these seals. I'd prefer not to need to, but it is best to be prepared for anything.

[There was a pause before Waver answered--both to collect himself and to look halfway presentable in the middle of the night. Clearly at his desk with some kind of paperwork in front of him, Waver pushed loose black hair back off his shoulder with a sigh.]

It's fairly easy by design. Concentrate on channeling magical energy into them, and give a simple order as straightforward as possible. The more basic the command, the easier it is to follow through with.

[Even if he looked like hell, Takame wouldn't have said anything. He himself looked a little pale, though it was hard to tell if it was from the lighting of his apartment or not.

He nodded and spoke as normal, putting his hand down.]

Mm, understood. Thank you. It is better to know, even I can only pray I won't need the knowledge. [Said with a light sigh, as if he doubts that.]

It's not...as terrible as it could be, in the hands of someone with base common sense. Command Seals are a valuable tool for one's own protection, and they can be used to give one's Servant a crucial edge in a fight. And utilizing all three doesn't necessarily negate the contract entirely, just removes the Master's implied authority.

... You're right. The advantage is what matters.

[Not his personal preference or his lack of commanding presence. As ever he would do what he must.]

...Look, I know it's...not great. That's the kind of thing you and Caster need to work out--when and how to utilize them, and what's acceptable to use them for.

Of course. I understand. There is much I'll need to discuss with him in detail. We have some time, I'll utilize it well.

I'm sure that you will. Try not to worry too much about it--this is a completely different situation to the war. You shouldn't need to rely on Command Seals too heavily.

Mm. I appreciate your assistance, Waver. My apologies for keeping you awake so late.

No--no, it's fine, I was awake anyway. [Uneasily rubbing the back of his right hand.] I would have been worried if you didn't have questions. All I had to go on was some quick research while I was getting the hell out of England, and there was a lot of the situation that ended up blindsiding me as a result.

I see. [A long pause and a tilt of his head, like he's debating asking something.

... Hells with it.]

England is your homeland, is it not? If I may ask, did something happen that you needed to leave so hastily?

...Oh. I didn't-...

[He turned slightly red with an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.]

Well, the...summoning a Servant usually requires a catalyst, some object or relic tied to the specific hero or their legend. Not an easy thing to come by, unless you're a professor engaged to the daughter of the department head who specifically gathers such items.

...Or if you're a nineteen year old student of said professor who accidentally intercepted his mail.

[...]

You stole someone's mail to summon Diarmuid? [Does he mean to judge? No. Does he sound like he is by accident cause he has no sense of major tone shifting? Well.]

I was...not a very good person when I was a student. I'm still not, honestly.

[He at least had the decency to look genuinely embarrassed.]

...You remember my predecessor, from that memory? Berserker's Master. He was my professor before the war, and that day I'd stormed out of class because he'd gone out of his way to humiliate me. Admittedly, the arrogant shit I was spouting was insane in hindsight, but I was still angry. I crossed paths with a courier in the hallway and was asked to hand something off to Kayneth. But...well, being a nosy shithead of a child, I decided to go to the library instead.

[His right hand moved to the pendant under his collar, idly fidgeting with the chain as he spoke.]

There'd been rumors he was going to compete in some ritual, and I did some digging--that's how I learned about the Holy Grail War. It seemed like a contest of strength that had no bearing on one's physical or magical strength, a place where bloodline meant nothing...I thought if I could win, then I would prove Kaynth and everyone else wrong. So I stole the catalyst and was practically gone by sundown.

...It's fine if you want to judge me for that. I know it was wrong to act so carelessly just because I took a hit to my pride. I don't regret it, but I know it was wrong.

Edited 2023-03-21 00:00 (UTC)

... I would have to disagree.

[Waver was a good person. Much better than Takame was. He listened carefully to what was shared. It was the story of a young man who got in over his head and learned the consequences. In that sense, he couldn't help but be reminded of Alphinaud.

Mistakes that ended up costing greatly. Takame knew it both first and second hand.

That being said.]

Your actions when you were young do not make you less of a good person today. But if I may speak freely. [A long pause.]

I did not need to know the real him to assume that Kayneth was an arsehole anyway.

[At which point Waver choked on air.]

[Then actually broke out laughing, quickly trying to stifle it behind a hand marked by long faded Command Seals.]

Fucking hell, Takame-

I mean...you're right, but...

[Huffing out a breath of air and running a hand back through his hair, Waver quickly tried to collect himself.]

Unfortunately, I have to acknowledge Kayneth was an outstanding example of a mage. A genius intellect, elegant and pragmatic--there aren't many better examples of what it is to be a mage in the first place. And as a result, there aren't many better examples of a worse human. It took a Command Seal and one of my legs just to live through fighting him, and even then it was down to the last nanosecond.

Ah? [Did... did he say something funny? He just said the truth, though. Wow, Monday March 20, 2023, Takame made someone break out laughing.

Even as Waver explained Kayneth's incredible skill, Takame wouldn't change how he felt. He's met so many others who are experts at strategizing, magitek, combat and everything that he was taught mattered as a child and would think nothing of as well.

Himself included.]

I'll not deny that he was talented. Perhaps even efficient in his methods. However, regardless of what it took, you are the one who is alive now.

I got lucky, and he got careless. Or just too arrogant to know better.

[Waver shrugged, back to uneasily wringing his right hand.]

That memory...it isn't what happened. Diarmuid was fighting Berserker, and I went to confront Kayneth in possibly one of the stupidest decisions I've ever made in my life. There was no way in hell I could ever have won in a flat-out fight--I'm still nowhere near as capable as he was. So I tried to catch him by surprise, until he broke the tree I was hiding in. Damn thing fell right on me and snapped my leg. Never healed quite right, which is why I'm the poster child for 'go to the fucking hospital and don't rely on magecraft'.

He had me completely trapped, and he decided to be magnanimous. Said he'd let me live if I withdrew from the war--that is to say, if I ordered Lancer to kill himself and forefeited my right as a Master. Swore it on his Magic Crest, which frankly meant I completely believed he was telling the truth.

Diarmuid's life or mine. Coward that I was, it should have been an easy decision. Then again...I guess it was easy, in a way.

[He raised his right hand, tapping one side of the faded mark with his left. Two wings and a blade, or some semblance of that shape.]

'Defeat Berserker.' That was the second order I gave to Diarmuid, and because of that he was able to kill Servant and Master alike before Kayneth could recover enough to finish me off.

It didn't matter if I survived. As long as that command was followed, he would have been utterly defeated by a weak third-generation mage. The humiliation alone would have been worse than death.

... [No one seeking a win with a brain would let their opponent live. Arrogance, idiocy.

He shoved that thought back as far as it would go, his fist clenching off screen at even thinking that at all. If Kayneth weren't a fool, if Waver wasn't lucky he would be dead. One of the closest friends he'd made here. Someone that not only Kaisou needed, but surely his own world as well.]

I see. So that's what happened. [He went quiet again. This put things into a little more perspective, but also gave a practical example of what Command Seals could do.] You survived nonetheless.

[That's mages, baby. Survival and common sense took a distant backseat to prestige and status.]

...I did. Barely. That was when I realized how stupid I had been--that the empty prestige Kayneth sought was the same recognition I had been so blindly chasing. I was desperate for acknowledgment for what I was capable of, while the person who had been acknowledging me was already at my side.

['Recognition' and 'acknowledgment' were not the same in Waver's mind, at least not in this context. The former, praise for the end result of generations' work having culminated in power someone like him could never hope to reach. The latter...praise for what could be done now. What could be accomplished by scratching and clawing up from absolutely nothing, seen as worthy of notice and acceptance.]

[The Clock Tower recognized Kayneth. Diarmuid acknowledged Waver Velvet.]

So once I'd recovered enough to continue...on the final night of the war, I gave up my last Command Seal entirely. I swore to him I wouldn't be like Kayneth--that I would work to rebuild the Association from the ground up, to shape it into a place that would accept people like me.

But I wasn't there yet. I wasn't a lord worth following, just a reckless child. I wasn't...ready. But I wanted to fight beside him all the same, with whatever pathetic abilities I had. No seals, no compulsions, just...us, together.

I lived--might have died for a minute or two, but I'm still here. He didn't. And I've been trying to live up to what I said that night ever since.

[Mages weren't that different from Garlean soldiers in that case.

As ever, Takame listened carefully, expression remaining relatively neutral save for a downcast. The way Waver described how he was felt even more similar to Alphinaud. As did the guilt he showed.

None of it was true, even if Waver was a reckless child. None of it was true now. And yet Takame lacked the words to express that he felt that. He could never find the best thing to say unless he copied someone else. He despised it about himself.

The more he learned of Diarmuid as well, the less he felt worthy of being compared to the man. There's another long silence before he managed something.]

You are not like Kayneth. You are a good person.

I appreciate it...I'm not, but that's fine. If I were a good person, I wouldn't be Lord El-Melloi II in the first place.

[He shrugged, lighting a cigarette as a flicker of wire snaked offscreen to open a window.]

I'm a mage. I can't afford to be a good person if I want to accomplish the things I've set out to do. The best I can hope for is 'not as awful as the rest of them'.

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1/2 cw suicide mention

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