fionnuisce | kaisou inbox

[he can even cook without incident! fascinating!]

I'm not injured. No more than usual, between Shounagon's help and my own restoratives. Just...tired. Recovering from everything else about me getting casually ripped apart, but I'm clearly not the only one with that problem.

I'm not even gonna ask. I am going ask what the hell were you thinking, though.

...I know. I know it was all stupid. But we couldn't risk Zodiac catching wind of what was going on, so we had to keep Albarea's plan quiet and just hope it worked.

[He sighed, turning over folded sunglasses in his hand.]

I can't just stand by and let others risk themselves without at least trying to help. That's not the kind of person I am. But I will at least apologize for my part in making everyone worry.

And I understand that--I know Shroud and I gave them a piece of my mind for the same shit--but you were talking like you were going to die, Waver. It wasn't until they told us you were one of 'em that I realized, but still.

...

['He knew I was living like someone walking to the gallows within the year,' echoed his own voice in sardonic tones. Which was probably true, and made sense enough. Living through the next few years at most back in his own world was going to require one or several miracles.]

I prefer to plan for the worst case scenario. I know that's not...great.

Well, at least you know.

[August comes out of the kitchen and finds the nearest chair. He is birdless, today.]

Seriously, are you okay?

I had nearly all of my worst memories manifested in a twisted mockery of my university by an apparition of everything I hate about myself.

...I've been better.

[. . .]

You what.

Could not possibly have said it more clearly. I was stuck in a nightmare version of the Clock Tower that was formed by...I'm not sure. Something repressed, something I wasn't acknowledging, it's difficult to explain with any definite certainty.

What the fuck. What the actual fuck. How are you talking to people.

...I already lived through it once. And I already knew that I'm...not exactly the best person. Or all that stable, for that matter.

[He shook his head with a quiet sigh, continuing to fidget with his sunglasses.]

There's...a few things I'll probably need to think about. A different approach to things I might need to determine how to take.

There's knowing that shit and then...all of that shit, Waver.

[Christ.]

Just remember you don't have to deal with that shit alone, alright? Even if all you need is someone to bring over food.

I know. I realize that, logically, even if Shounagon and the others hadn't made it abundantly clear. It's...just not the easiest thing to accept.

[Setting the glasses aside, he ran a restless hand through his hair with a slow breath to collect himself.]

...I've seen some shit no one else ever should have to, and I've been through hell and back. There have been times when there were people there to help me through it, but for most of my life...it's just been me.

And I'm not saying any of this to make myself out to be some pitiful mess of a person, I'm saying it because it fundamentally fucked me up. And I don't think I fully understood how badly it did until all this happened.

[August is silent for a minute, thinking. He can't really help with that, he's not a therapist, but he wants to at least support Waver. Somehow. God.]

Well...seriously, my offer stills stands. That's about all I can do, other than sew shit. [...] And warn you that Ryouta can turn into a swan. I hate to drop that on you like this, but. Like. I don't think you wanna find that out if he turns into a swan mid-exam.

[And, gratefully: successfully distracted.]

...Are there any of us who can't turn into birds?

I don't think Elliot can? I know Rean can't?

No, Elliot's something else, talking to him about it is when I got cursed myself.

[Sigh. At least it's something better(?) to talk about.]

Fucking city's a mess.

Understatement. I can turn into a shadow-thing on top of my other bullshit.

I'm hoping the bird's the worst I have to contend with, but I'm not holding my breath.

...That said, it isn't that bad so long as I keep it under control. Hell of a lot easier to get around in that form.

Flying is literally the best goddamn thing in the world.

Yeah, it's...surprisingly pretty nice. I was never much for heights, but I can't very well complain.

It's different when you're flying than when you're in a plane or on a roof or something. Honestly, if I could I'd fly everywhere as a bird. I just don't wanna try and explain where I came from to the normies.

No kidding. If I could get to class through a window without anyone asking obnoxious questions, I probably would. Imagine, never having to deal with stairs for the rest of my life.

Forget stairs, no more traffic.

If only it were that easy.

[...]

Wait, shit, is this still going to stick when I get home?

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