fionnuisce | kaisou inbox

[Were there words in this moment? Even Diarmuid would likely struggle to find them had it been another in his shoes. But ever did he think of others long before himself who stood at bottom priority.

Nonetheless, he did as instructed and breathed deeply and slowly, exhaling quietly in the same fashion though the exacerbation was very clear in that alone.]

I...

[So much could follow that up. "I apologize, I lost myself, I'll be fine, I know what to do, I can't believe it, I feel as though so much has been uprooted".

He followed it up with nothing, just a quick aversion of his eyes before setting them firmly to his partner.]

It's okay--it's not, but...you did well. We're going to figure this out; you and I, and all of the others. Neither of us are bearing this alone, understand? For right now, let yourself rely on me however you decide you need to. I'm here for you no matter who or what we're up against. So...

[-'so you can think of yourself, for once.']

... I know. I understand.

[It hasn't been Diarmuid and Waver against the world for a long time. They had many a friend and ally here. Many to lean upon.

But to them Diarmuid could not let himself crack. Even to Waver it felt like a great undertaking. But what did these two do but constantly take on considerable challenges and succeed together?

Diarmuid just... sighed. And shook his head again. Small steps were still steps. And Waver Velvet swore to protect this weak, still human heart of his.]

I don't want to believe it's true. That the Black Order turned him into what I saw. This isn't right.

[He's angry. He's upset. He could be those things here. For once.]

...It isn't, I know. [He ran a gentle hand through Diarmuid's hair, leaning their forehads together as he spoke softly.] None of this is right, and none of it's going to be easy.

[Describing how much the touch grounded and steadied him would be impossible. It made his constant knightly veneer melt away that much more to let the moment of weakness through.

When was the last time he was this unguarded in his life, he wondered? Has he ever been? Or has it only been with Waver?]

I know what will need to be done. I doubt there will be getting through to him. He is a Zealot. [The thought of that sickened him.]

If only there were another way...!

...

[There wasn't, and they both knew it no matter how much they both wanted any other solution to the problem at hand. No way out of the situation but straight through it.]

[Without a word, he put his arms around Diarmuid's shoulders and pulled him closer; there was nothing Waver could say to make this any less miserable than it was.]

[Diarmuid knew that. They both knew that. There was no rationalizing here. He just... he just wished with all his heart that there was because a man like Cu Chulainn could be so much better.

But dwelling on the what if would only lead to madness at the end of the day, wouldn't it? Not everyone's one percent chance was a fortunate one.

So he said nothing more. Just allowed Waver to pull him close and wrapped his own arms around his partner as well.

Allow him this moment of wallowing and think no less of him for showing it. He did not have to plead for it.]

[It doesn't have to be us, he wanted to say. And while that may have been true--that none would think less of them for stepping back from this one fight to focus themselves elsewhere--it would also have bern a bitter lie.]

[It had to be them, in part or in full. It was their responsibility as Master and Servant, as knights, as people whose very ideals stood on the foundation the Hound of Ulster had laid out. To stand aside now would be unforgivable cowardice, no matter how justified they were in wanting to.]

...I'm sorry.

[Diarmuid shook his head again.]

You have no reason to be.

[He knew why Waver was, this was honestly devastating on so many levels. But it must be just as much of a shock to Waver. Diarmuid can't help but feel as though he failed in some way when sharing the story he did, but Lancer could have never seen this coming.

He held on tighter, trying to draw upon his Master's strength while he stood weak in this moment. And spoke as if Waver's thoughts reached him beyond their connection.]

We need to be there to stop him, Waver.

I know. [Steadying himself as best as he was able, Waver ran a comforting hand through Diarmuid's hair again; it fell to him to be the anchor at times like this, and they could both fall apart once everything was said and done.]

And we will be, both of us.

[Covering each other's weaknesses as always. And when the times were calm, they could both be weak in one another's hands. Come to terms with the reality that they're faced with now and the one they will face when he is dead.

And the rest of the storm to follow.

He let himself stay as they were for a little while, but eventually thanks to that shared strength he let himself stand tall again. He just did so without hiding the sadness that was still strong in his heart.]

... Thank you. [He knew he didn't need to say it, but he will anyway. He always would. Because he would always be grateful.]

Lapis, Husk and Jinwoo all retreated safely. As far as I could sense, we weren't followed and it would be impossible for him to hunt the trail of one who teleported.

I'm not worried about you being followed, you're too good for that.

[Waver pulled himself back to his feet as well, hands on Diarmuid's arms for how reluctant he was to fully separate just yet.]

You did well. I'm glad they're alright, you included.

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