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[fionnuisce]

'You've reached Lord El-Melloi II. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

[network username: silverrose]

Comments

[fionnuisce]

No, it's fine. What were you going to say?

[prunedworlds]

Once again, there's a long pause before her response.



Even if it's the logical thing to do, or even if it's the only possible option, I'm tired of seeing people die to protect me

[fionnuisce]

[. . .]



has that happened often

[prunedworlds]

a few times

[fionnuisce]

i see--then i really should apologize again. i didn't realize this was something you'd been through so much.

i'm not sorry for protecting you. i know he isn't either. but i know that it

[A long pause, with the occasional '. . .' of active typing.]

it hurts worse than anything, right? like you have to live with something ripped out of your chest and no way to repair it except to wait for time to replace it with a permanent aching scar.

while that kind of agony isn't something i ever want for anyone, it's better to be alive with it than dead without it. because it does heal with time, even if that means the pain only lessens rather than vanishes.

i'm glad you're okay. i'm sorry for hurting you. and i'm also sorry there's nothing i can do to help that pain except give you my full support, because we're all lucky enough to have gotten off light this time.

[prunedworlds]

its not your fault

i just

i guess i dont know what to do

[fionnuisce]

it's okay.

sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. you can just let yourself be upset and hurt over it rather than try to push it back and act like you aren't.

[prunedworlds]

i dont know

i know this isnt chaldea but

i can't just do nothing if something happens here

[fionnuisce]

Of course. It's impossible not to do everything you can, and harder still to stop once the immediate danger's passed.

But you should try looking after yourself as much as you would for others. That's hardly what I would call doing nothing.

[prunedworlds]

i don't know if just being upset counts as looking after yourself

it just gets in the way if something needs to be done doesn't it?

[fionnuisce]

What happens after a catastrophe, Ritsuka? After everything is said and done and the battle over?

Recovery. We pick up the pieces, mourn what was lost, bandage wounds suffered, and only then turn to 'what needs to be done' next.

This is the incredibly necessary point where we need to stop for a minute and breathe, all of us. And in a place like this, we're usually lucky enough to have the luxury of time enough to do that.

[prunedworlds]

There wasn't time for all that before.

But if you say that's how it is here, I guess I can try.

[fionnuisce]

I can understand how that feels, too.

I'd like it if you did. At least try it for my sake, but see if you can keep it up for your own.

[prunedworlds]

All right.

Thank you.